Our Miscarriage Story - Part 1
Every man, woman and family have their own miscarriage story.
This is just ours.
One thing we know for sure is that miscarriages are common, especially within the first trimester. Statistics these days state that 1 in 4 women will have a miscarriage OR 10-20 % of pregnancies will end in a miscarriage…..but let’s be honest, what does that even mean?
Statistics are bland and I can never quite relate to them. Yes we know they are common and yes we know they are devastating (whether you’ve had one, or whether someone you know has had one) but that’s usually where the conversation ends. What about what happens during the miscarriage?
Resources are generic, limited, few and far between. Sure you can’t tell a woman what to expect emotionally ( as we all react differently) but what if we could advise them on what may happen to your body physically? This is why I choose to share our story. I didn’t know anyone who went through one and the pamphlets they gave me were nothing but blanket statements.
But let’s back up a little bit to when I found out I was pregnant, because that’s my favourite part.
My first signs were super typical -sore breasts, SUPER nauseous and oddly irritable. I’m quite in tune with my body so I knew something was off which is why I decided to take a few tests (5 to be exact lol!).
When I looked down at all 5 test my legs completely bucked underneath me and I fell to the ground crying the happiest of happy tears. Ed and I had been trying for a year without much luck ( I was beginning to think something was seriously wrong) so seeing those little pregnancy lines was the world’s greatest surprise.
The minute I found out I knew I had to make it special for Ed so I waited two days ( can you believe it) so I could surprise him with baby sized nike runners. If there is one thing you should know about Ed, it’s he is obsessed with all things Adidas and Nike so I wanted to make this perfect for him!
I finally found the right pair and hid them in our cutlery drawer ( while I was cooking) and asked him to pass me a fork.
Ed isn’t an emotional man but that night he was. It was undoubtedly one of the happiest days of our lives.
Fast forward to about 7 weeks and 1 hour later, I was just about to go upstairs and surprise my brother and sister in law with the news but knew I had to pee first ( because well… during pregnancy that’s all you seem to want to do).
I remember looking down and seeing a whole heck of a lot of blood in the toilet and what looked like a bright pink sac of mucus on my napkin. It was about the size of my hand.
I screamed for Ed and told him “ I think I’m about to have a miscarriage”.
That same day we sat in the clinic and were advised to check my HCG levels over the course of a week ( to ensure they continued to rise) but warned that if my cramps ( I had mild ones) got worse or the bleeding worse, to head straight to the ER.
I’m sure you can guess where we ended up the next day…..
I spent the better part of the day in the ER getting blood tests and speaking to physicians. They confirmed there was some blood in my canal but that my cervix was closed ( phew ). However, wanting to be cautious, they booked me in for an ultrasound the next day.
Here’s a part I will never forget - As I was packing up to leave the ER doc handed me my jacket, grabbed my arm and told me to prepare for the worst because this was no longer in our hands ( and pointed to what I assume he meant god).
My heart sank and intuitively knew what was coming.
Continue to part 2.